28March2006, Tuesday

I happened to read this article which was posted into the Friendster Bulletin Board by one of my friendster's friend...Read it yourself too...It's a really nice and touching short article...I almost cried after reading...This article revolves very much around our everyday lives, couples or not...You'll bound to see this cuz it may happen to yourself, or relatives or even friends...A full editing was done by me, due to lotsa typo error and I've also gave this short article a title...So for now, Enjoy!

[My Marriage]

"On the day of our wedding night, I carried my wife in my arms."

The bridal car had stopped in front of our block, where our new 1-room flat was...My buddies had insisted that I carry my wife out of the car in my arms. So I carried my wife into our new house, I could still remember then, that she was shy and plump. While I was a strong and happy bridegroom. All this was a scene of us, some ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water. My wife and I had a child named "Caden. I had went into business with some of my buddies at that time to try to make more money. When the business was going onto a higher scale, with assets steadily increasing, the affections between my wife and I had seemed to ebb. My wife was also working, and served the government as a civil servant. Every morning, we would leave the house together and every night the both of us would be home, almost at the same time. While Caden was sent to study in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy on the surface. But the calm life was more than likely to be affected by unpredictable changes which would occur in the later part of our lives.

Before long, Dew had came into my life. It was a sunny day, I stood on a spacious balcony where Dew came and hugged me from behind. My heart was once again immersed in the stream of love. This was the apartment that I've bought for her. Dew then told me, "Do you know that you're the kind of man, who bestdraws girl's eyeballs?" Dew's words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we're just married, my wife had said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant because I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so, I moved Dew's hands aside and said, "You go select some furniture yourself later on, O.K.? I've suddenly remembered that I've got something on in the company. Obviously Dew was unhappy, because I had promised to accompany her to the furniture store.

At that moment, the idea of divorce somewhat, became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I will try to bring this topic up to my wife, she would still be hurt deeply.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening, she would be busy preparing dinner for the both of us while I sat in front of the TV, waiting to eat. After our dinner was done, we would watch TV together. As Dew came into my life, all these had changed slightly, instead of watching TV, I would be lounging in my arm chair before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the "means" of my entertainment then.

One day out of curiosity, I randomly asked my wife in a slightly joking manner, "Suppose we would divorce one day, what will you do?" She only stared at me for a few seconds, without mentioning a word. Apparently my wife had believed that divorce is thing, far away from her mind. I couldn't imagine how my wife would react, once she got to know that I was actually gonna be serious.

On one fine day, during my wife's off day...She had came into my office looking for me. Almost all the staffs looked at my wife, with a half-sympathetic and half-worried look, as if trying to hide something while addressing her. My wife had seemed to got some hint from there, but she had only smiled gently at my subordinates. However, I could still sense pain in her eyes. Once again, just before Dew went out of my office, she reminded me to bring up the topic of "divorcing" to my wife and said, "Then we can live together." I nodded. I did not talked about divorce when my wife had came in, instead she accompanied me till I knocked off. We headed back home together, without any conversations.

However, I knew I could not hesitate anymore. When my wife served the last dish, I held her left hand and said, "I've got something to tell you." She sat down and ate quietly ignoring my words. Again I could feel pain coming from her eyes, suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth, much less to bring up the topic. But I had to let her know what I was thinking, that I want to divorce. So, I raised the aserious topic again (after gathering all my guts), calmly to my wife. She didn t seem to be annoyed much at all by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?" "I'm serious.", I said. With that, I stopped and tried to avoid her question earlier on. This so-called answer, made my wife blew her top. She threw her pair of chopsticks onto the floor and shouted at me, "You are not a man!" Then, she went into our room...While I was left all alone, with the dinner untouched.

That night, we didn't talk to each other. I could hear my wife weeping softly, as I pretended to be asleep. I knew she had wanted to find out what had went wrong with our marriage, but I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer. Yet deep down inside me, I know it was because, my heart had gone to Dew. With a great sense of guiltyness, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that my wife could own our house, our car, along with a 30% stake of my company. My wife glanced at through the whole thing and then tore it into pieces before my very eyes. I felt even more pain in my heart, the woman who had been living with me for ten years, would then become a stranger to me one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally, my wife broke down and teared in front of me, which was, what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks had seemed to be firmer and clearer.

During a late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw my wife writing something at the table, so I did not cared much and went to sleep. When I woke up to check on my wife, I found her still scribbling away. I turned over and was asleep again. The next morning, my wife brought up her divorce conditions to me stating that she didnt want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time, we must live a normal life as possibly as we could. My wife's reason was simple, our son would be finishing his summer vacation a month later and she didn t want him to see that our marriage was broken.

My wife then passed me the agreement she drafted and asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the night of our wedding day? ten over years ago?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remembered ." "You carried me in your arms," she continued, "So, I have a requirement, that is, you must carry me out in your arms, and it will start from now to the end of this month. You must carry me out from the bedroom to the doorstep every morning where we would go off for work." I accepted with a smile. I knew my wife had missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. Dew laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks your wife has up her sleeves, she still has to face the result of divorce." she said scornfully. Dew's words more or less made me felt uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact ever since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as strangers. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son, Caden being nonchantly, clapped behind us, and exclaimed, "Daddy is holding mummy in his arms!" His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the living room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with my wife in my arms once again. She closed her eyes and whispered softly into my ears, "Let us start from today, don't let Caden know about it." I nodded to her, feeling somewhat upset. Then, I put her down outsidethe door. My wife walked off to the bus stop to wait for bus, while I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted more at ease. My wife leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance coming from her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a very long time already. Suddenly, I found that my wife was not looking young anymore. There were some fine wrinkles on her forlorn face.

On the third day, my wife whispered to me, "The garden outside is being demolished. Do be careful when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate and loving couple, I felt like I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, my wife kept reminding me stuffs, such as, where she had placed the already-ironed shirts, where I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded each time. The sense of intimacy between us, grew even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry my wife. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now." My wife was picking her dress while I was waiting to carry her out again. She tried on quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have seemed to grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was, because my wife was thinner. That's why I could carry her more easily, and not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a strong sense of pain. Subconsciously, I reached out my hand and caressed her forehead.

Caden had came in at that moment and told me, "Daddy, Daddy!! It s time to carry Mummy out already!" To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out of the room, had become a daily routine, an essential part of our lives. My wife gestured at Caden, to come closer and then hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held my wife in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the living room, to the hallway. Her hands placed around my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we had turned back time and came back to our wedding day. Except that my wife's weight was much lighter than before and this made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Caden had gone to school. My wife then said, "Actually I was hoping that you will hold me in your arms until we are old." I held her even more tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't noticed that our life was lack of such intimacy."

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delays, would make me change my decision again. I ran upstairs to my office and sat in quickly as I waited impatiently for Dew. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I wont divorce. I'm dead serious this time." She looked at me with an astonished look. The Dew touched my forehead. "You've got no fever." She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew." I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce my wife. My marriage life was boring, probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn t love each other any more. Now I understand, since the day I've carried my wife into our house, she had gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you." Dew seemed to have woke up, then gave me a tight slap, slammed the door, bursting into tears.

When I passed the floral shop, out on the way for lunch, I stopped and went in to order a bouquet of 99 red roses for my wife, which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card which was attached alongside. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."