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Y Thursday, December 29, 2005Y
6:14 AM

28December2005, Wednesday
Life's such a contradiction, don't you agree? Just the night before, I've blogged about the quarrel with Laogong and now...We're fine again...I guess, my heart's slowly turning soft...In the morning, when Laogong came and woke up me after saying sorry a few times, I decided to forgive him and we began to talk and play with each other as always...I don't seem to have the stubborness, that I used to have in the past anymore...It's hard to describe this feeling of mine, and I know it's very contradicting...People who have been tuning into my blog, might find my entries common and dull, cuz it's always a sad or angry situation then happy again the next moment...

Well, let's just forget about that for now...I went for work as usual after accompanying Laogong...During the early hours, there were little crowd so I was still quite relaxed...It had even rained quite heavily which I thought might not bring in much people...But I was so busted...I've been stationed to work inside again but this time round, only Ah kai and I were inside...After the rain had stopped, there were a lot of customers and I was handling almost the whole lot of people inside...Bills pilling and pilling, the sudden hectic work got me feeling giddy...Time passed fast though, so I still managed to pull through and then went to do area cleaning...

Our role call session was really long tonight, Elsie kept talking and talking while looking at me the whole time..Cindy and I finally went to the changing room to change after awaiting for Elsie's order...After that, we went to punch out and then went to sit at the pavement along Zouk to wait for our transport...Three times, different group of people approached us and chatted with us...The last guy which is an "angmo" kept walking towards us and talked to us, but Cindy and I just ignored him...I think he's had a little too much, cuz he looked tipsy...Cindy and I chatted about a lot of things and I like it cuz after our chatting session each time, I feel much better...Thanks Cindy, for always listening and sharing your stuffs with me...

Y Wednesday, December 28, 2005Y
12:59 AM

27December2005,Wednesday
I overslept again, and Laogong did not came to fetch me at all...Why is everything back to square one again? Just the day before x'mas, we made up and now again it's happening...I'm really growing to hate him more and more each day...Laogong promised me, after that day we've made up, that he'll not let this kinda thing happen again...But look, now it's starting again...Laogong is not the one I used to love already, he's become another person now or is he finally revealing his wicked side to me? We're just not the same old sweet couple that I thought we're...Everything's changed...

I made Laogong came to my house and fetch me, and he did...But, when on the way back to his house till we're in his room...There was only silence, I felt so awkard but just went to sleep on a side of his bed...All the while, I never once scolded him for showing me attitude but if it were to be the "me" in the past, I would already have started a quarrel with him again...But I did not!! I wanted peace between us, it has become so different now...Then Laogong became normal again and began to pull me over to his side and hugged me to sleep...I presumed that everything was fine so I fell asleep too...I woke up again at 2.30pm and left Laogong's house, I headed down to Far East to find Fiona for my hair-curling session...I knew Laogong would hate me for not being able to wait, so when I left his house I did not even bothered to kiss him and tell him that I was leaving...

I reached Far East at around 3.30pm or so, and Fiona helped me trimmed my hair then shampooed my hair and began applying the treatment on my hair...We chatted through out and time passed on much easier...Fiona curled my hair using curlers and then let my hair set for like 20 or 30plus minutes (I guess), after applying some solutions to it...I waited patiently, Fiona even treated me to coke while I was waiting for my hair to be ready, she's such a amicable person...Alas, my hair was ready and Fiona washed my hair again...Then Fiona trimmed my hair a little more and I had fringes!! The last part was finished off with a blowing-dry, Fiona gave me tips to maintaing my curls and even suggested that I should purchase a spray-mist, but I did not buy...But i did promised her that I'll go back and buy the spray-mist from her once I got my salary...*Grins...Then, home i went...

On my way back, inside the train...I smsed Laogong and asked why is he not worried that I was not by his side sleeping when he woke up, all he said was " ooh..where you go huh................" I was already saddened and fed up a little when I read it...So after a year being together, this was all he asked...After a year, I'm nothing to him anymore...Has my existence really diminished? I've not heard him saying that I'm the most important person to him anymore, I no longer hear him telling me that the person he cant bear to leave most, is me...I don't hear him saying that he's afraid of me leaving anymore...All I had were, scoldings and hang-up of calls from Laogong...We smsed each other while I was onboard the train, and then I called up Laogong cuz I wanted to hear his voice...I had only wanted a nice chat with him before he starts work but all I had was his angry tone and questionings and beratings...Laogong spoke more through the conversation while I kept quiet cuz I really did'nt wanna quarrel anymore, I so sick and tired of it...Time and again, this happens...All I wanted was a peaceful and sweet chat, but in the end I hang up Laogong's call cuz I could'nt take it anymore...

Now, we're still arguing over what happened...I'm really upset...It's really tiring to continue on...Laogong says all the stuffs that I've blogged about are bullshit, he says even though I've mentioned that I was at fault during our quarrels in my blogs but I don't feel remorseful to him at all...All the while I'm typing this, my tears are really flowing...Believe it or not, it's up to him...In the past, whenever people ask if Laogong and I would get married...I'll always talk about it happily, even told them that it will happen 2years later but now, I always tell them "I don't know, not so fast"...I've lost hope already...Yet, all that I've done and blogged about were just rubbish to Laogong...Let's just end it all...My (once vibrant) heart is now, dead...My deep feelings has fade away, I no longer have the strength to carry on...Please let go of me, let go all these miseries...Perhaps, we'll be happier this way...Perhaps, we're not meant to be after all...Thanks for being with me all the past one year plus...Thanks for bringing me so much happiness, so overwhelming that I've never felt from anyone but you...Thank you for everything...

Y Monday, December 26, 2005Y
11:47 PM

24December2005, Sat...X'mas Eve

This x'mas eve, Laogong and I both had to work so we could not celebrate this joyous day together...But we did smsed each other a "Merry X'mas" during our work, and had also gave each other presents...

Anyway, I had a great X'mas that day with all my colleagues at Zouk~WineBar...That day, winebar was decorated with balloons all over...Balloons tied to chairs and balloons floating on the ceiling, it was sooo beautiful or at least it looked nice to me...There was even a customer who mentioned to me that, the staffs (including me) were having more fun than the customers at Zouk...That whole day, all winebar staffs were playing and joking around with each other...Almost all of us wore a X'mas hat, Cindy and mine being pink and the rest with reds...We also bought snowflake spray cans, each had a whistle plus lotsa party poppers inside our pockets...*Grins...

We also took pictures...For that night, we had a better supper which was chicken chop plus a desert...We could also choose a drink each for that day, and I had Space2001 as my final decision after getting some recommendations from Leo...hahas...When it reached 12am, it was officially x'mas and that was when we all gt crazy...I had my spray cans with me, but Aderlin took away one so I took the other left and began to spray at the my colleagues...I was sprayed at as well, and we all popped our party poppers at one another...There was lotsa screams and laughters at winebar, even the bartender captain played along with us and the cashier as well...The bartender captain, Lang Feng pulled down my x'mas hat several times and he also got a balloon to let us sign on...Dennis kept running around and spraying at all of us, and in the end all of us ended up coughing cuz we breathed in too much of the smell of those snowflakes...

Slowly after all that, we began to settle down a little and regained our posure so we could provide our customers good service again...Through out the night, I was approached by a few customers who wanted my x'mas hat, but I rejected them cuz that was part of a memory for me at winebar...It's a keepsake...(^o^)b...That day, our operation was extended to 5am in the morning and when it finally ended, we all sat on and drank our selected drinks...Leo promised to get cherries for me, so he asked the Ah bee from the bar for a 8 ounce glass of it...But Ah bee, Kelvin(Ice cream) and Reni refused to give to him and even wanted Leo to feed it to me by mouth then they'll relent..But we did not do it at all, Leo just put 1 cherry into my mouth using his hand...Lols...Ah bee, Reni and Ice cream all sighed...hahahas...In the end, however I still got my glass of cherries and I thank Leo for it...keke...

After the night of role call and our drinks, it was time for us to go home...It was raining like cats and dogs, Cindy and I both had our jackets on but I was still shivering...As I mentioned earlier on, I drank Space 2001 and after the drink my face was feeling hot and I felt a little giddy...Our transport was replaced by a cab, which we could claim the fare after from Zouk...I slept through out, and when I've reached home, immediately I fell to sleep on my bed...Until, Laogong came to wake me up in the later morning to have breakfast together...

Though I did not got to spend my x'mas together with Laogong, I still had fun with my colleagues...It was still a wonderful x'mas after all...I wish a Merry X'mas and a Happy upcoming New Year to Laogong, and all my friends!!

6:13 AM

23December2005, Friday

I spent the night before at Laogong's house, we're both so exhausted from the JB trip that the both of us fell asleep almost immediately, when on the bed...Laogong's mummy had went into the room to wake us up for some "tang yuan" but gave up after awhile...She knew that we're very tired...

We only managed to wake up around 2plus in the afternoon and had our "tang yuan" (glutinous rice ball), then Laogong bought me home on his bicycle...After that, we went down to Jurong Point to window-shop and wait for the time for me to go to work...I went into the shoe store which Laogong had bought the pair of white heels for me last week, and I saw new stocks which has red color ones...At a cheaper price too!! Oh man...

Then I smsed Cindy and told her about it, it happened that Kuan yee and her were also at JP...So they came up to meet Laogong and me then Cindy tried on the heels and finally bought a pair...Then it was time to go to work, Laogong sent me to the mrt station and saw me off...I took the train together with Cindy and Ky, after awhile I called Laogong up and chatted with him on the phone...

Laogong and I were chatting normally on the phone, but suddenly got into a heated arguement all because of Laogong...Laogong was pissed off that I told him not to buy a television set first, and some other things which I thought was just plain talking...But HE assumed that I was nagging, so we quarrelled on the phone...Until, I cried and could not talk...Laogong hang up my calls more than thrice and also refused to answer my calls...I was so hurt and angry, Laogong has never been like this to me in the past but recently, he's been like this...

Is it because Laogong's mummy told him before, that if I were to get angry over small things, he should just ignore me...Then, Laogong became like this? I'm not sure but I was disappointed by him utterly, Laogong had promised me long ago when we've first started being together, that he would never treat me like this and also not to scold vulgurities...But now, all that I've got were a pack of lies...So, I mentioned break up again...All I got was hang-ups again, so I assumed that Laogong has agreed and I cried terribly...

Practically everyone in Winebar knew about it, cuz I was not concentrating on work at all and constantly felt like crying...Cindy consoled and stood by me, others also cheered me up...At that moment, it was like my heart had turned black...I felt pain but then again it felt like my heart was dead...Hatred grew inside me, and I don't want to go back to Laogong's side anymore...I've changed myself for him already, but he's getting worst...I just could'nt accept it...

The next morning after work, I reached home with a better mood...I was still thinking about my relationship with Laogong, but soon fell asleep as I had no intentions of going to his house anymore...I had really given up and did not want to be with Laogong already...At around 9plus in the morning, I sensed someone sitting beside me on my bed and I kept hearing "Sorry"...My half-opened eyes managed to catch a glimsp of Laogong but I did'nt wanted to forgive him so I ignore him and went on to sleep...It was only until 10.40am or so, did I woke up relented...Laogong kept repeating "Sorry" to me even after I've woke up, and then bought me to have breakfast at JP's Macdonald's but was too late so we had early lunch...

After our meal, Laogong bought me to 77street and asked me to try on the necklace which I've told him about, previously...Laogong did not buy it for me in the end, cuz both of us thought that it was funny-looking on me when I wore it...So we went off and in the end, Laogong bought a Addidas perfume gift pack for me as his token of apology...

Y Saturday, December 24, 2005Y
6:13 AM

2nd JB trip

As from my previous post, I've said that I did not sleep and I really did not! I went to bath and then waited for Laogong's sms...Laogong called me instead, and told me that he was gonna join his colleagues for breakfast before meeting me...*Shrugs

I was not happy cuz I sacrificed my precious sleeping time to wait for Laogong, in the end I had to wait more...My eyes were already half-opened by then, my bed was beckoning me to sleep and my hello kitty is waiting for me to hug her...All because of Laogong's colleagues, I had to wait longer...What if I fall asleep? Then Laogong would put the blame on me, because I went to sleep and did not wait for him...So I told Laogong about it and eventually he did not go...hahahahahhas....I went to his house then put on my make-up and then Laogong said his friend was gonna drive us into JB...So at 10pm, we went down and then Laogong's friend came...Laogong's friend was really kind, he drove us to the market near my house just for Laogong to exchange more money and then he even drove us to Holiday Plaza when in JB though he had to go fetch his parents...Laogong had actually change S$100 but he changed another more S$100 for me, lols...I did'nt had to change any money at all...keke...

Once Laogong and I reached Holiday Plaza, we went to had our breakfast cum lunch first...We decided to eat at a indian foodcourt and Laogong had the chicken rice and another plate of fried chicken chop...I had nasi briyani...The food was bad, Laogong did not liked it but mine was still quite alright...What to do, Laogong chose to eat there so he had to eat the food no matter what...Then we went to shop around, I got my comics which costed a total of 40plus riggit!! Very cheap right? hehehe, cuz per comic is only sold at RM4.50...Which means, if you convert to Sing dollars, it's only $2plus per copy!! hahahas...

After that, Laogong and I walked around to look at clothes but none fancied me...Laogong looked at DVDs but did not buy as well, then I went to look at wallets and handbags...A nice black colored Dior wallet caught my eye, and it was damn cheap!! Only RM25!!!!!! OMG, tell me where else can you get so cheap de wallet though it's a fake? But, of cuz for this price, the workmanship is definately disappointing lah...So in the end, I did not buy that...But!! I saw another LV black wallet as well, and also very cheap!! ahahhaahs...RM50 only!! It's hard to find fake LV wallets in SG, and the design so nice!! So cheap and so nice, very tempting right? hahahas...I ask Laogong which was nicer and he chose the LV one, so tada!!! I got my black LV wallet....hahahahs....There was also a the wallet for guys in that LV design, I asked Laogong to get it but he said he did not liked it...*shrugs...We could have got the same ones, couple wallets but haiz...

The next stop was City Square, we went to change my PS2games upon reaching and even got the sales guy to test the games...Finally, I would be able to play my Hello Kitty...*Grins...Laogong and I did not get anything from there, cuz the other time went in already bought...So we just window-shopped, then Laogong bought me to NEWAY, and we had our singing session!! Lols, it was the first time Laogong and I sang K in JB...The service over there was great but the tv remote control and the song/singer titles were not as good as Kbox and Partyworld in SG...Nonetheless, Laogong and I still had a good 3hours inside singing away...We only went off at 7pm then went back to SG...

On the way back to SG customs, I fell asleep while standing inside the bus...Laogong had to hold on to me cuz I was not standing properly...I could feel it myself too, but I was too weak and tired to try to stand still...Lols...I've really enjoyed my day with Laogong...

Y Thursday, December 22, 2005Y
6:59 AM

22December2005, Thursday

I'm at home right now, it's been like 1hour since I've reached home after another day's of work at Zouk...I don't wanna go to sleep cuz I'm afraid that I'll not be able to wake up at 7.45am later, to meet Laogong...So here I am, blogging in the early morning...*grins

I've not been getting proper rest the day before and today, I'll still not be able to do so, cuz Laogong and I are going into JB again...I wanna get my Hello Kitty PS2 game changed, and also get my usual dosage of mangas, plus a wee bit of shopping...*pouts...So, all the more I should'nt go to sleep and remain in my chair blogging till the time is up, for me to go prepare...Lols....

*Shrugs, Laogong and I won't be able to spend this year's christmas together already, cuz both of us will be tied to work...But, we've still gave each other presents and we'll still wish each other a sweet merry x'mas...A new year is coming soon, which means a chapter starts in our life...Hope everything goes well and smooth for Laogong and his family, not forgetting my own family and me...*hahas...Laogong and I would still remain as loving as before, it's not gonna change now, not tomorrow, not forever...*Grins...

PS: I'll soon be posting up photos of the stuffs that I've gotten from my baobei Laogong, with lotsa love...^^ So, stay tuned, folks!! =)

Y Monday, December 19, 2005Y
5:54 AM

18December2005, Sunday

I went to Laogong's place after resting for a short 1hour plus after my work, I was rather tired so I got to sleep after accompanying Laogong and his PS2 for a short while...Today is a outing for all Zouk~WineBar's staffs and I was going so I woke up at 3.30pm, promptly applied my make-up then went to Lakeside Mrt to meet Cindy and ET...After that, we went to JE station and waited for Leo to come...Leo was late for 15minutes, we got a little impatient but soon forgot about it...

The 3of us were the first to have reached Farrer Park, then all the rest came...There were: Dennis, Aderlin, Ah Kai, Cindy, ME, ET, Leo, ZhiWei, Jiayi, Shunyong, Luther and Eileen...The remaining did not turn up for the outing...But that did not affected our moods at all, we then proceeded to NewPark Hotel and had our buffet dinner...All of us really ate to our hearts contents and even had 2 rounds of shark's fin serving...We spend 3hours or so eating before leaving for PartyWorld at Orchard...

Once at PartyWorld, we all began to choose our songs and kept singing all the way...We played and sang songs like nobodies business and it was really fun, we're all enjoying ourselves and behaving like a bunch of crazy fools...We all took a lot of pictures as well, using Cindy's digital camera...Time passed really fast though, ET, Luther, Shunyong and Eileen left while the rest of us stayed and sing on till late night...Then we changed rooms, and continued singing...We all sang duets, Cindy with ZhiWei, Jaiyi and me plus Leo too...We all sang and sang until the wee hours till Jiayi and Zhiwei got a little tipsy, and were both behaving abnormally...Lols...At around 4plus in the morning, Cindy got out of the room and went out to wait for Leo, me and Zhiwei to leave together...Apparently it was because of Jiayi, tried to bite Cindy and Cindy was pissed off by her...So upon seeing that Cindy had left, I followed and waited together with her...Calvin was also there and took pictures together with the both of us...

Soon Leo and Zhiwei came and we left for our homes, sharing a cab...Throughout the whole journey inside the cab, Cindy, me and Leo were trying very hard to control our laughs...Zhiwei was already tipsy so he was like sprouting nonsence, he continued ranting all the way until he reached his block...

The night ended fast but it was a really enjoying one, I really look forward to the next outing together with them...lols....

5:28 AM

Trip to Johor Bahru
We met up with Cindy and Kuan Yee at Lakeside MRT station, and took the train to Kranji station which was only 20minutes...Both Cindy and KY kept bickering and playing around with each other while on the train and, it was kinda fun to look at them do that...Sweet sweet couple...^^

We all passed through the Singapore customs very quickly but got stucked at the Malaysia customs for more then half an hour, there was a huge crowd and when it was all done, the time was already near 2pm...Laogong, me, Cindy and Ky walked to City Square and the first shop we stepped into, was Levis Concept Store...*Grins...I managed to get myself the last pair of size 24 Patty Ann but Cindy was not as lucky...She had wanted to get the same design as me but the sales girls over there told her that they've ran out of stock...So Cindy was disappointed and did not looked much, instead Cindy and Ky went to other shops to check out...Laogong and I stayed at Levis store for some time cuz I tried to help Laogong look for the faded color designs, Laogong tried some 3or 4pairs before finally getting the desired pair that we both fancied...

After our purchases, we went to join Cindy and Ky and continued shopping around City Square...Then we decided to go grab some food, we stopped at Seasons Cafe and had our lunch there...We even ordered a "EarthQuake" ice cream (8scoops) and shared...Cindy and I were too full and had'nt been able to eat so much of it, so the rest were finished by Laogong and Ky...We continued shopping around there for the rest of the day, we all managed to buy the stuffs we wanted and then just when we've thought of going to Holiday Plaza (but did not cuz it was kinda late already), Cindy went into Levis store again...This time round, the size of the pair of jeans popped out...Another sales girl had found one in their store room and gave it to Cindy, Cindy was unhappy that their service was bad...One moment they don't have it, the next, one pops out...But nonetheless, Cindy did'nt cared much and bought the jeans alas...

Then Ky wanted to buy some PS2 games, so did Laogong...So we all went to buy a few and went for our late dinner before going back to Singapore...It was already 10plus in the night when we've reached Singapore, we're all tired but we've all had fun...^^

PS : Next time round, it'll be a trip to Genting...Yippee!!!

Y Friday, December 16, 2005Y
3:42 AM
What is love?

Is love about all these :

2persons having deep feelings for each other?
2persons wanting to be together no matter what happens?
2persons willing to do anything for each other, even if it means sacrificing one's own life?
2persons sharing all that they will and never hide anything from each other?
2persons hugging, kissing, fondling, making love and enjoying every moments spent together with each other?
2persons willing to change their bad habits to compromise each other?
2persons vouch to be together forever and ever, an everlasting love?
2persons really loving, never will betray each other by going astray?
2persons whispering sweet-nothings to each other?
2persons hoaxing either one when either one is down?
2persons spending a romantic candlelight dinner?
2persons celebrating birthdays, festivals and anniversaries together, year after year?
2persons applying for a HDB flat?
2persons going to ROM?
2persons to never leave each other in lurch?
2persons have fights but made up quickly?

This list about 2persons of opposite sexes can actually go on and on, but I won't write all of them down...All these above-mentioned stuffs, are what a lot of couples do...But I don't think love is just about that...Love is beyond that we could be able to explain, no one can ever define it in a correct manner...A different person has different opinions about love, so what do you think? If love is just about these few, then I guess all couples would rejoice cuz it's simple to abide to...If love is just about as simple then there might probably never be break-ups between couples...If only love was like this, but sadly, it is just not as simple...

I believe that every couples out there, which inlcudes my boyfriend and me, would hope to be able to love each other and lead a peaceful life...No one would get hurt, no one would be sad, no one would commit suicide as well...Could love ever be simple? Jay's song "Simple Love" might sounds nice but you too would know not one relationship would be like this...Perhaps if time could go back, even on a blind date basics, one would be able to love simply and lead a pure simple life...Husband dotes on wife, wife loves husband wholeheartedly...Is'nt it great?

What is love about? You tell me...

Y Thursday, December 15, 2005Y
11:55 PM

For Laogong...
Have you noticed that we've not quarrelled for weeks and weeks already? Did you not see that I've changed in terms of my temper? Don't you think it was good enough? Why have you become so different from the past? Is it because you're slowing revealing your true self to me, finally? Or it is because you've changed?

From the caring and understanding,
loving and good-tempered,
never leaving me in lurch,
always replying my smses whenever possible,
hoax me when I'm down,
long to hear my voice always,
sweet chats,
darling boyfriend

to being a guy who's verbal abusive to his so-called beloved girlfriend, who no longer keeps his promises, threatens to slap girlfriend and ignores girlfriend...

Why do I always hear you telling me that we should have a good chat but it never happens? I would always end up hearing you, telling me about my bad points, berating me on and on...Have you never thought of what you've done? How you've treated me? Why did I get angry? You always push the blame onto me, not every single thing is your fault, you've always mentioned.. So does that means, for every single thing that we've quarelled over, is my fault? You've no idea how hurt I was when you've shouted at me that day, you've really made me hated you so much but the more I hated you, the more I could'nt bear to leave you...

I'm not looking forward to getting married to you as I did in the past, how could I when you're like this? I'm scared of getting married, it's a phobia of mine now...Millions, billions or perhaps zillions of thoughts had probably ran through my mind...I fear that we're eventually not meant to be, a marriage would only end up to be a disaster...I would only be following in my parents' footstep, divorce being the only way...If all these had not happened, I would not have thought so much...You've always thought that I'm controlling you, well perhaps it is true cuz deep down inside my heart, I never wanted for you to leave me...I take all things too seriously, including you...You've mentioned that you would help me whenever possible but the one helping me, had turned out to be myself not you...You've never once helped, you've only continued adding on pressure to my already exsisting burden...I've saddened a lot more...

11:15 PM

13December2005, Tuesday
Laogong's into his second day of "MC"...Laogong felt better but was still sick, nonetheless that did not affected our pre-planned "JB" trip...We both woke up at around 7.30am in the morning due to his father's loud hailer-liked voice...Laogong and I bathed then went out at around 9plus, I went home to change while Laogong went to Jurong West to help his father pay for or change particulars of the season parking...

I changed then went out to meet Laogong so we could have our breakfast before going to meet Cindy and KuanYee...I recieved a sms from Cindy then, so I called her back and she told me that Ky's passport was not with him, they had to wait for his father to go back home and hand Ky his passport...Cindy postponed the time to 11.45, so I relaxed and took my time..Laogong, then also smsed me and told me that he'll order duck noodles for me first and, I replied telling him that I wanted a mixture of noodles..Laogong did not reply...I was not really happy so when I reached, and saw Laogong sitting down at a table, I went towards him and slightly threw my mobile on the table...I was not even able to say a word then he started by telling me to throw away the bowl of noodles if I did'nt want to eat it...Laogong said I was being difficult, that I was'nt like this in the past, and whatever he had ordered in the past for me, I could just eat so for now why could'nt I shut up and eat as well...I was furious upon hearing all these, I argued with Laogong until he kept quiet and we both ate our noodles then went off...

As I was angry, I did not inform him about meeting Cindy at a later time...So Laogong presumed that we had to rush home, to put the newly changed season-parking stuffs back, then rush to meet Cindy and Ky...I delibrately took a detour and waited for a bus while Laogong wanted to take a cab, Laogong got fed up but could do nothing and waited for the bus as well...We did not talk on the bus, till we've reached the bus stop near his block then Laogong started walking at a very fast pace...I was not happy that he did not wait for me so I asked to wait for me and, we could walk back together...But Laogong did not cared much and scolded me instead...

Somehow, the both of us got into a very heated fight and I even threw my handphone twice on the floor...We shouted at each other in public, people stared but we did not cared much too...I could still remember very clearly that Laogong hurdled verbal abuse at me, I did not do this to him at all so why did he had to be so cruel? Laogong knew that I've never liked him scolding vurglurities but he has done it twice already, he disappointed me very much...I ran after Laogong, wanting to beat him and do anything I could to make him feel pain but I fell down and Laogong just stared at me...Laogong did'nt cared if I was hurt at all, and for the very, really first time, Laogong shouted at me, saying that he will slap me if I continued being so unreasonable...Finally, I could'nt hold back my tears anymore and broke down...I went berserk and kept taunting him to beat me but Laogong did not...For the second time, he walked out on me, ignoring every words of mine...I was so hurt and angry at the same time, I almost wanted to break off with him again but did not mentioned it...I even threw the watch that he had bought for me so he would stop and come back, he shouted at me again...

We kept shouting at each other, then an auntie in a nearby child-care centre looked at us...I was so pissed off that I shouted at her too, telling her not to be such a busybody...It was so irritating, then she stopped afterwards...Laogong started to put my watch back to pieces then he went off again towards his house, I was depressed cuz I've seem to be transparent to him so I threatened Laogong that I would throw away his passport if he still wanted to walk...It worked and Laogong came back, then we both went back to his house and I kept quiet all the while...Laogong became normal again and told me not to be angry again, how could he expect me to be alright in just a flash? Laogong did not even felt regretful for the things he had done previously...What I had gained in the end for taking care of him the past 3days when he was really sick, was to be yelled at with tons of vurglurities...This is the worst fight we've ever had after a few weeks of peacefulness...

Somehow, I did not continued being angry the whole day and tried to be nice...I controlled myself and refrained myself from being angry, then we went to meet up with Cindy and Ky...I'm no longer the "really bad-tempered me" already, for you, I'm willing to change...Because of you, I hated myself more then ever...

6:09 AM
Whooooooohoooooo....Hey everyone, I'm finally back to blog again...Though, not as frequent as before...But, wait!! I'll try my best to blog as often as i could..*Grins...

By the way, I've got tons of stuffs to blog but it'll be really long if I squeeze all into a single entry...So, I'll blog them bit by bit...First things first!!

[Laogong fell sick for a total of 4days!!]

Last saturday, I overslept and so was'nt on time to go meet up with Laogong...I slept all the way till around 10plus (i guess, hees), saw Laogong's smses...Then I knew Laogong had fell ill and was not able to come wake me up as he always would, if I've overslept...I quickly got myself ready then went over to Laogong's house and try to take care of him...I was shocked when I saw Laogong walking in a wobbly-liked manner, his face so pale and gloomy that it looked forlorn to me...Laogong's mummy knew that he was sick and asked me why did he not wake her up so that she could take care of him, I told Laogong's mummy that I did'nt knew and that Laogong only told me that he was ill...

Then, both Laogong's mummy and I thought that it would be better for Laogong to go see the doctor and not go for his work that night...After some persuasion, Laogong decided to go...I accompanied Laogong to Jurong East Polyclinic, after that we went straight home...Of both trips, we took cabs cuz Laogong was really weak and needed to get home fast...Laogong ate his medicine at home afterwards, but had never really recovered from his illness and even vomitted on 2 occasions...I was so worried for Laogong that I never even went home, but stayed at his house to continue looking after him...The next day, Laogong was still feeling sick but insisted on going for work so he went...In the end, I got smses from Laogong telling me that he was still not feeling any better so he's gonna see a doctor again, this time to the company clinic...

I went to meet Laogong in the morning after his work then accompanied him to JP to see the doctor...Immediately, when we've reached home, Laognog ate some buns then took his medicine and went to rest...The medicine prescribed was proven to be good, cuz Laogong actually feel better after his rest...I was a little worried still, though...So I smsed Cindy and told her that we might not be able to go for the JB trip as planned...I wanted Laogong to have ample rest...Laogong is finally better now and I hope he does'nt gets sick again...

Y Wednesday, December 07, 2005Y
12:32 AM

07December2005
I met up with HuiQi the night before and chatted with her...Qi was supposed to bring me, my new S.H.E album...But Fei Fei took the wrong bag and my CD was not delivered to me, I want my DISC man!! *lols...

If you've seen the cover page of S.H.E's new album then, you'll see that there are 3dolls which arer actually the exact replicas of Selina, Hebe and Ella...Their eyes ,so alluring especially Ella's pair of eyes...Soooo charmingly sweet...I think Hebe looked really beautiful as well, could make guys go gaga over her...lols...Selina, on the other hand...I thought was pretty much simple and normal...If there are really places selling these replicas of them, I'll go buy them...hahahahahas....

I want my disc, QI!!!!! I'll go mad if I still don't get it...*Grins

This morning I went to Laogong's house as usual and handed him the PS2 discs that he had been waiting for...I waited for Laogong to test his discs till I fell asleep and only woke up when it was time for Laogong to go work again...Over all these days, perhaps weeks had already passed, Laogong and I never had any fights of late...Everything was peaceful, I managed to control myself more and overlooked some minor stuffs which I would usually make a huge fuss out of...Laogong and I, were basically just doing well...Behaving sweetly as we used to be when we've first started out...Laogong and I could never stop seeing each other one day, I really hope we could maintain this peaceful relationship...I'm still waiting for the special day to arrive...*pouts


Y Tuesday, December 06, 2005Y
1:19 AM

05December2005
Ah~ I've not been blogging as regularly as usual if you can see...Not that I don't wanna blog, just that I'm always busy with work or friends or something else...I never had a chance to get close to my laptop until recently...I try to stick home and now a new entry...*Grins

Work was as usual at Zouk, I've gotten new Zoukout Tees to wear for work and so were my other colleagues...Cindy was in Genting last Friday and Saturday, so I was assigned to work inside the bar...I took over as assist for the night to help Adelin and she praised me for doing a good job for my first try...*gleeful

Then on Saturday night, we all got our salaries...Cpf deducted from it and the total amount we got back was meagre...Kinda sad cuz we had been like working so hard, but no choice...Diven worked at WineBar that night for the last day...WineBar now has a staff lesser...Laogong had went to his company's anuual dinner and dance so no work for that night...I told Laogong to come look for me at Zouk if he could and Laogong really showed up in front of me at midnight, *Grins...Laogong wore long sleeves and jeans, which was casual but smart...Laogong came together with two of his friends and they went into the disco to dance so Laogong followed them, I was actually kinda worried cuz there were like dozens, no should be tons of pretty and sexy or scantily-dressed women inside dancing as well...But Laogong reassured me and I was soon buried in my work then worrying...

I kinda loved seeing Laogong dressed like this, Robby and Ah Wei both said Laogong looked more handsome with his new haircut...hehehe...Laogong waited for me after my work till he fall asleep and I quickly changed and woke Laogong up before taking a cab and leaving for home...Laogong and I went back home and I went to bath to get rid of the foul cigarettes' smell, Laogong fell asleep again and I quickly get myself ready then we went back to Laogong's house...

When we woke up, it was already around 6pm...Laogong got ready to go for his work and I saw Laogong went off to work...I went on to meet up HuiQi at Jurong Point but I reached first so I walked around and saw QinHui waiting for Christine to knock off...We both chatted for a short while and then HuiQi came...I went with her to meet up with Xueli, Eileen and Tracy...To think that we've all actually had disputes in the past and now we could all chat so easily...lols...It was actually quite cool, they were actually really nice people...I really enjoyed the outing...I accompanied HuiQi to Levis cuz she told me that she wants to buy one too..Qi was really fast, she merely asked me which was nice and I told her men's 512...Qi tried it on and bought it straight away...I saw a bottom and top which I liked but did not buy cuz I tot of getting it when I go to JB...I tried on the top but it was pretty loose for a small size too so I did not buy any and we left...

We went down to CoffeeBean to chill and then Xueli and the rest came, this time with Yuting and Wendy too...We all spent the time chatting away then went off to another place to sit and chat...Around late night, we all were getting bored...Yuting had already went home cuz she had to work the next day...So the remaining 6 of us decided to go cycling and we did...

Y Thursday, December 01, 2005Y
9:38 AM
The Mini & Big Versions of Gothic Kitty
The Mini & Big Versions of White Kitty
The Mini & Big Versions of Punk Kitty

December01, 2005

I've finally come back to blog again...I've been really busy lately, hanging out with my friends, accompanying Laogong and working...The hello kitty pictures I've just posted is the one I've mentioned inside my wish list...As you can see there are 2 sizes, and the one that I wanted is actually the mini sized one which costs $69.95 while the big one is even more expensive...Going at like $250plus or more if I'm not wrong...Totally not cheap but definately cute cuz these new-dressed Kitties simply looked wickedly-sweet...I will go get the white edition one when I can cuz I find that the nicest...lols...

November30, 2005

Spent my morning together with Laogong as usual and for these past few weeks or so, Laogong and I never really had any quarrels...This is a good sign, right? Yeah...I went to meet up with Cindy and we both went to work together at Zouk again, one of seniors called Jiayi came back to WineBar and worked as well...We all got our new ZoukOut Tees and changed into it at work, the tees looked nice anyway...Nothing much at work, then at the end of our work, Kuan Yee came in a cab to fetch Cindy and me back...Cindy won't be coming for work on this coming Friday and Sat, I'll have to take the transport alone at night...Nobody accompany me on the bus, Cindy!! Be back from Genting soon K!!!! *Grins