I've just blogged about my break-up with him yesterday, but now we're back together again...alright blame it on my act of impluse...I, myself knew that I would'nt be able to live without him and yet I did such a cruel thing to him and myself...I'm SORRY, Laogong...terribly sorry for treating you like you've never exsisted, thinking that you had already lose faith in our relationship...I sorry that i misunderstood you just because you did'nt gave chase after i chose to walk off...So sorry...

"RE-enactment, 10August2005"

Laogong had just gotten his salary and so I asked him how much had he given his parents this month...He told me that he gave his mummy the usual allowance and his dad more this time round...I asked him why give more, he did'nt bother to answer my queston much...I was not pleased at all, not that I don't approve of him giving allowances to his parents...Its because I knew how hard he worked for to get his salary( risking his life of having to be crushed by heavy-weight machines anytime) and I'm also working(painstakingly) for a meagre salary, most of it goes to my father...I don't want Laogong to be like me but no matter how i explained myself , he just would'nt listen and thinks I'm unreasonable for stopping him to give his parents money...How can you ever understand?? I kept quiet...

Around 7pm, I accompanied Laogong to the bus stop then asked him why lie to me about how much he gave, why can't i know?? The main thing i was furious about was that he lied to me for the very first time...I got agitated and walked faster, Laogong grabbed my hand and tried to hold me back but i struggled and yelled at him to let go of me...He did and I walked off in the direction to get back to my house...I thought Laogong would come after me and hoax me but after I walked for a distance, I realised he had ignored me and went for his work...I broke down to tears almost immediately and called him hoping he'll say sorry...

Laogong kept slient, I thought he has lost his patience with me and has had enough of my tantrums...I smsed him that I wanted to end his miseries and mine too...Laogong then begged me not to do it, he panicked but i could'nt forgive myself or him yet...I was persistent on breaking up with him and even asked him to get a better girlfriend, cuz I'm not worthy of him to care for and love till eternity...I knew I could'nt let go of this relationship just yet but I was bend on a break-up...I cried and then continued smsing with Laogong till 5am in the morning before finally going to sleep...

I slept for less than 4hours and found myself waking up at the time I always do just to meet up with Laogong...I tried to get back to sleep but only to find myself waking up at 8.45again...My eyes already puffy from all the cryings, I knew Laogong has just returned home at this hour...silly me kept longing for him to come to my house and see me...I cried again as the time passed faster and faster, still no sight of him...I then got up from my bed to the toilet, I asked for all these and I've got it...Laogong suddenly appeared infront of me and hugged me real tight...I cried uncontrollably and hugged him tightly too...I totally regretted my decision and cried remorsefully...

Laogong asked me to stop crying then wiped my tears and sacficised his sleeping time to bring me to breakfast at Mac's...I felt so guilty...Sorry Laogong...I promised you time and again and yet broke my promises to you once and again...I won't make empty promises anymore...Sorry, I still love you...